For years my skin complexion haunted me but today after 25 years of life I finally love the skin I’m in! I am not afraid to say I used to be ashamed of my dark skin. My skin somehow represented that I was dirty and unloved. Considering I am the darkest of my mother’s children, the difference was very noticeable. Throughout my years of adolescence I endured harsh criticism from my peers. In the 8th grade, I remember walking home from school one day and this boy who I had the biggest crush on, shunned me in front of the whole bus crowd. We were walking next to each other because we had assigned seats, and some of the kids were making fun of him because he actually talked to me. Being dark skin seemed like a disease back then. Anyway, of course he had to defend himself. So he said “I don’t like her. She’s as black as the charcoal my daddy uses to barbeque!” Everyone was cracking up and I was devastated! I ran home and cried on my bathroom floor for what seemed like hours. Why did I have to be black and ugly I questioned myself? Why doesn’t any of the kids like me? It didn’t get better for me as I got older, so I don’t have some superwoman story to tell you on how I eventually made him eat his words.
Fast forward to Present Day, I’m standing in line with a very close light skinned female friend of mine at a popular night club in South Beach Miami. We look great if I must say so myself. We’re not dressed in thousand dollars’ worth of clothes, i.e. red bottoms or Hermes, but we are cute not conservative, classy not trashy. Definitely the prettiest girls in the bunch that’s for sure. The bouncer did not even look in our direction, but I know he saw us. Up walks a group of Spanish and fairly skinned women, who look busted. I mean seriously, they were not attractive at all. But in the club they went, with no hesitation. I was baffled, and started laughing. I refuse to beg for entry into a club. For all that I’ll go home and turn on the music where I pay the rent every month. Had it not been for me stepping to the side and allowing my lighter friend to step in front of me, we probably would have not seen the inside of that club that night.
The mainstream media has depicted light and fair skinned to be the most desired. If she’s light and bright she must be right. That’s all you see in music videos and what most rappers are rapping about these days. “Beautiful black woman, I bet that b*tch look better red….” Child please. I’m so over it. So many men gain professional notoriety and all of a sudden the lighter skinned woman, or Spanish woman (I won’t dare touch that subject) is better than someone who resembles your mother. I find it hard to fathom how their sisters, aunts, nieces, and even mothers are dark skinned, yet their preference is different. To each his own I presume.
It took years of self-evaluation to fall in love with the skin I’m in and to appreciate my beauty for what it is. I am definitely one of a kind. I fall in love with myself every time I look into a mirror. My eyes reveal a woman whose story and testimony is so profound, my smile lights up a room, and my unique beauty mark directly in the center of my top lip is a certified stamp of approval. My smooth brown skin has endured years of hateful remarks, sideways glances, passed over compliments and on and so forth. But it has also made me stronger, and to some whose preference is brown skinned beauties, it has made me very desired.
I long for the day I can give birth to a beautiful brown baby girl so I can shower her with the love I never received as a child. I can’t wait to fill her up with over brimming confidence so she can embrace her skin and conquer the society we live in. Hopefully by then, times will have changed. For now, I will
(Disclaimer: This is not my child, she’s just a pretty brown skinned natural little girl who I thought was so cute! I hope my baby looks like her. her name is Riley and you can find/follow her @chritinshootspeople her mom’s an awesome photographer!?