So as Father’s Day approaches, it forces me to face the reality of my absentee father and the impact it has had on my life. As I have gotten older, and witnessed both my parent’s mistakes, I have concluded that there is no handbook to parenting and parents are human. They make mistakes just like any and every one else. However, certain things can not be looked past once you become an adult.
Growing up, my father was non-existent. I actually thought he passed away until one day my mother told me he wanted to see me. I was maybe about 8 years old. From there I think maybe once a year I heard from him. (This does not include birthdays or holidays)
A father in a young girls life is so imperative. He teaches her things that can not be learned in society or in life.
Unfortunately I did not learn those things from my father, and I constantly find myself running away from the “lost daddy” syndrome. Never wanting to the girl who has daddy issues so she dates older men to compensate for the lack of paternal love she didn’t receive as a child. Doesn’t always work out that way…..
As it stands today, my father and I have a strained un-likely relationship. Communicating maybe once or twice a year. He’s not really around..and I don’t think it bothers me too much. I’ve adapted the “out of sight, out of mind” mentality.
I would like for things to get better, but in order to have a change, you have to be the change you want to see.
In due time.