So I had conversation the other day with this guy, who just happens to be successful, black, educated and very much a gentleman with high standards when it came to dating. He says though he loves black women, and would probably marry a black woman one day, he would prefer it if black women didn’t wear their natural hair in it’s natural state.
“So you like weaves?” I was curious.
“No not like that, but if they have it slicked down, that’s better. I just don’t like the messiness of the afro or how rough it looks. She can wear her real hair, but just not in an afro or like out sticking up. It has to be permed and laying down on her head.”
Hmm. So this got me to thinking. First of all, I think this dude is an idiot and I’m glad I’m not dating him, however the fact that black men really don’t like natural thick textured hair on black women is disheartning. They think we wake up in the morning with Kim Kardashian hair growing out of our follicles. When she wears about as much weave as participants in a hair show.
If a woman is wearing her natural thick hair she’s automatically labeled UGLY to certain men.
I personally feel that black men, who do not like women who were their natural hair are intimidated by the self-acceptance that woman possesses because he more than likely hates himself. Think about it, when you’re feeling self-conscious about your own body or your own looks, you try to degrade the next individual.
It’s almost a lose lose situation. If black women were to wear weave, then we are considered hating ourselves because we don’t wear our real hair. Then if we wear our hair in it’s natural state then we’re considered “too black, too eccentric. too rough looking.”
What these men prefer is for us to chemically alter our hair to look more European, so in their minds they can be more attracted to us.
I think natural hair is beautiful. I personally have transitioned my way into loving my natural hair. Thick kinky coals and all. I have fun exploring different protective styles, whether it’s weave, braids, twists, afro etc.
I hope/know that my future mate, will also love the versatility of my hair in it’s natural state and accept me for who I am all while loving and embracing my natural hair.
Checkout some cute photos below of girls with fros and their beaus who love them and their hair!
Below are Miss DunnieO and her husband Ibraham, I freakin love this couple!