Written By: Robyn Jasmine for A brown Belle Exchange
If you’ve been keeping up with Love & Hip Hop New York, you’ve no doubt seen the train-wreck of a sister wives type relationship between Peter Gunz, his wife Amina Buddafly Pankey and the mother of his youngest sons, Tara Wallace.
In a nutshell, Tara and Peter were in a 13 year relationship, when he cheated and “married” his sidechick Amina. What has transpired since they came onto our television screens is nothing short of a crazy, confusing, she did what, he said what, head shaking, unbelievable events.
The questions viewers ask week after week are never really answered as the castmates try to rationalize their reality in their confessionals.
The answer is simple; Soul Ties.
I wrote a piece about Soul Ties a while ago, and how difficult it was for me to release them in order to move on with my life. Watching LHHNY and these three battle with this internal struggle is an all too familiar feeling.
A soul tie is a linkage in the soul realm between two people, linking their souls together. Having a soul tie can either be a positive or negative factor.
Since we are speaking of Peter, Tara, and Amina it is very clear that their soul tie linkage is negative.
Negative soul ties binds you to the opposite person. There is a feeling of helplessness if you or the person were to ever depart from one another. Having children increases the severity of the tie, because there is physical evidence from a person you feel you cannot live without.
As we watch week after week, this portrayal of black families being tarnished with a man whose weakness is clearly flesh, and the women who oblige him yet and still continue to sleep as well as procreate with him, all while knowing there is someone else; is disturbing.
I feel for Tara & Amina from a sister girl point of view, because I’ve been there.Got the post card for it too. There is a fear in both of these women, that if they truly give up, the other woman has won. So they hold on. Hold on to the man, who constantly disrespects them. They hold on to the idea of hope, that the father of their children will somehow come to his senses and choose their personal family. They hold on to the illusion of what they believe it can be.
They hold on, because their soul is TIED and TIRED.
When are we going to love ourselves enough, not to show our children this example of reality? When is self love going to be enough? How many more shameful acts will we as women have to carry for someone else?
This should not be our reality. This should not be the new normal.